Tuesday, October 19, 2010

....at the heart of it all.

Personal change can only be successful if God is at the heart of it all.

Right this moment, I am fully in the here and now. I am focused on God and how He wants this message presented to you. Personal change involves being in the here and now, not focused on what happened in our past or the "what if's".  Here and now, it is my absolute priority to be here for you through the medium of Nan's Calendar. Some of you who are relatively new to receiving Nan's Calendar don't know about my past and how I have changed and grown as an individual, as one who broke the cycle of being a victim, as one who has made a commitment, a vow, to God to live according to His purpose for my life.

Personal change and or personal growth comes when we realize that where we are isn't where we want to be, that who we are isn't who we want to be. How do we get to where we want to be and why aren't we happy where we are? What is missing in the here and now that causes this stirring in our soul?

I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 11 years old. Two very special preachers touched my life in a way I'll never forget. I was like a sponge when I could get to church. I soaked in every word they said from the pulpit. My foundation was being built that would stand up under abuse, literally, abuse. To the world, I seemed fine, but it was 17 years before I could say out loud I had been abused. God was at the heart of it all. I believed in God since I was a child. I can't remember not believing in God. At some point, I changed from being a victim to being a survivor. I am still changing, growing, stretching my wings and will continue to do so until the last breath leaves my body. When we embrace change, instead of cringing at the thought of it, and focus on God and nurturing our relationship with Him, we begin to experience life with a new and fresh perspective.

We change when we turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts. We change when we take up new, positive habits and lose those old, negative habits. Change involves self-awareness and understanding our place in the universe. We were created by God and for God and when we understand this, things will begin to make more sense.

I never blamed God for the abuse or asked myself where was God when the abuse was happening. I didn't suffer in vain, because I have lost all fear of speaking about it. I can tell you now that I was abused and not feel shame. God took away my shame and replaced it with peace. I have looked death in the face and lived to tell about it. I am alive today, because God needs me to be a witness to you....to tell you that you must never give up hope. Had I given up hope, I may have died 27 years ago. It's a mystery. Maybe I wouldn't have died, but I can tell you with certainty that it would an alternate reality to the wonderful life I live today. Only God knows the answer to that mystery. The abuse lasted a long time, but I can say that it was temporary. I am no longer a victim. I am healed spiritually, mentally, relationally. I am whole and have a wonderful, healthy relationship with God. I forgave unspeakable sin. Change is possible and successful when God is at the heart of it all. I say these things to you today, because I care....because you are special....because God brought you to Nan's Calendar for a reason....remember, I didn't seek you, God brought you to me....I am here to encourage you....

Take care. Love, Nan

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